You could make an argument that she could get spousal support if they split, but how many courts are willing to grant support to a woman who leaves of her own accord?
you know what bothers me? how people advocate getting married as such a highly desirable thing in this country but have no idea what it entails. if you enter into a marriage that is a no fault situation should divorce happen (and *everyone* should know what kind of divorce situation a potential marriage could become), then you enter into a no fault divorce situation- for the duration of the marriage, not for just when its happy. its hilarious how when everyone is happy the attitude is all “whats mine is yours! its ours! we are so happy and in love and we share everything – legally now yayyy!!” but then the minute someone is unhappy the lines in the financial sand are drawn. im with sampson below- the LW and her husband both have to abide by divorce laws. if those divorce laws stipulate a split what does it matter what she or he did while married? it doesnt, but all of a sudden when divorce is on the table it matters. all of a sudden its a very important fact that *he* paid for the house.
This whole letter just made me think of the movie Hope Springs with Meryl check these guys out Streep and Tommy Lee Jones
so honestly who cares who moves out where, when? really? it doesnt matter. and i dont think its weird for one person to say to the other -whichever gender- “im fed up, cant stand you anymore, get out”, which is essentially what this LW would be saying. if she went out and got her own apartment, he would be paying for it anyway through whatever divorce laws stipulate he would have to pay her.
this and many other things is why marriage is not high on my priority list. marriage is ridiculous, so much of the time…
To believe that a 60 year old woman who ostensibly has never worked or had a career can make it on her own is pretty niave. My advice here is pretty limited. But LW, maybe that movie will give you inspiration. In the meantime, please seek out counseling, and develop a plan. Whatever you are comfortable with. It might mean getting a part time job, or learning a new skill or hobby. But I agree with others that telling your husband to move into an apartment is a bad idea. He paid for the house. Kicking him out of his own house wouldn’t be the right move.
No fault divorce means no fault. It doesn’t matter if she’s the one that leaves. Everything still gets split equitably. Which (normally) means . Courts are unlikely to deviate from that. I can see how that sucks in some cases, imagine if your spouse cheats on you and you’re the breadwinner and they still get 50%. But there cheating doesn’t matter. (In most states – and this is not legal advice).
But it is very unhelpful to point out that her husband is the injured party. It is helpful to recommend she speak to an attorney.
Obviously I’m not a legal expert. I was trying to make the point that that the LW would likely have a very difficult financial future ahead.
Right, and I just don’t know where in your letter you’re getting that. Plus to recommend someone stay married for money is just as icky as to encourage someone to marry for money. You couldn’t pay me enough money in the world to be miserable. This coming from someone that did give up large financial stability for happiness.