The stats
500 feet: The distance adult businesses are supposed to maintain between each other under city law5: The number of adult video stores between 35th and 45th Streets on Sunset Park’s Third Avenue2: The number of storefront Pentecostal churches 
along the same stretch10 feet: The distance between the front doors of Las Video (3906 Third Ave) and Iglesia Pentecostal Alfa y Omega (3908 Third Ave)1: The number of times Rev.
Get off
Bailarina bars Queens is a haven for bailarina bars, places where men (usually Latino) pay to dance with scantily clad women. No, not lap dances-the kind of dance you did at your high-school prom. You’ll know you’re in the right place when you spot the darkened windows and bright signs advertising VENGA Y BAILE. The most famous of these is El Flamingo (85-12 Roosevelt Ave between 85th and 86th Sts, Jackson Heights), but bailarina bars dot Roosevelt Avenue between 72nd and 90th Streets.
Gay strippers Hank Krumholz, cochairman of the Queens Lesbian and Gay Pride Committee, recommends Club Atlantis (76-19 Roosevelt Ave at 77th St, Jackson Heights; 718-457-3939, clubatlantisnyc) for great drink specials, go-go boys galore and strippers every Thursday ($5 cover). For girl-on-girl action, Latina lesbians like Bum Bum Bar (63-14 Roosevelt Ave between 63rd and 64th Sts, Woodside; 718-651-4145).
Hot-sheet motels Pay-by-the-hour motels abound in Queens. Three of the most popular spots are the Airport Motor Inn (153-99 Rockaway Blvd at 140th St, South Jamaica;718-276-3800), Boulevard Motor Inn (76-02 Queens Blvd at Jacobus St, Woodside; 718-457-1400) and Kew Motor Inn (139-01 Grand Central Pkwy at Charter Rd, Kew Gardens Hills; 718-969-3000, kewmotorinn).
London Boutique, Jackson Heights Never suffer a boring night in Queens again! This well-stocked sex shop sells red-hotsexy DVDs (three for $10), poppers, strap-ons, edibile undies, party supplies and even the Bottoms Up 3 -Way Butt Blast (use your imagination). 78-031 Roosevelt Ave between 78th and 79th Sts, Jackson Heights (347-531-0809, myspace/london_boutique)
Go deeper
Hell Gate Social This bar racked up 22 violation points on its inspection, none of which mentioned porn star Misti Dawn getting down and dirty there while filming Burning Angel’s 27-minute porno “Health Inspection.” 1221 Astoria Blvd between 12th and 14th Sts, Astoria (718-204-8313, hellgatesocial)
32nd Ave and Farrington St Flushing’s prostitution sweet spot. “There are definitely problems on that street,” says one officer from the 109th Precinct. “You get rid of them one day and they come back the next.”
Celebrity snatch!, Long Island CityJonathan Horowitz’s “And/Or,” on view at P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center through Monday 14, features a PhotoShopped image of Britney Spears’s bare crotch on a picture of Katie Couric. 22-25 Jackson Ave at the 46th Ave (718-784-2084, )
Adios, sadistsSir Alex used to run Queens BDSM and often hosted kinky demos at the then-Elks-owned Elks Lodge Local 878 (82-20 Queens Blvd at Simonson St, Elmhurst). “They were normally about a specific theme or how to do it safer,” says Alex. “Bondage [included] rope, chains and locks, leather cuffs and handcuffs.” He disbanded Queens BDSM in 2001, a Korean Church took over the lodge, and Sir Alex says local S&M outings are more or less nonexistent these days. Anthony Duque, manager of the London Boutique, concurs: “There is no S&M scene around here; that’s why we don’t have leather stuff.”
Adios, gay bath housesIn 1994, a man died in a fire that destroyed the Northern Men’s Sauna & Health Club (33-61 Farrington St between 33rd and 35th Aves, Flushing; 718-445-9775), a notorious gay sex spot in Flushing. It’s since been rebuilt and functions as an all-male spa, but not to the glory of its heyday.-Linnea Covington