I Am Not A Single Parent I Am A Lone Parent And It’s F*cking Hard

This can cause some problems later in life when it comes to moving in with someone because they will find it difficult to adjust to living with someone and sharing their space. Most only children are close to their parents because they spent so much time with them whilst they were growing up, being the only one there. This close relationship might only be with one parent, but even so, this relationship will last throughout this person’s adult life.

In the course of my blog research, I learned that there is actually a plethora of services to help single moms cope. But from hardship comes growth and I learned some vital ways to deal with being a lonely single mom. So, how do you make sure your partner doesn’t feel judged or defensive? It’s important to come from a place of vulnerability when you’re explaining how you feel and to use a non-accusatory tone and language, according to Brown.

St. John said she didn’t introduce her own kids to men until she was confident he was “safe,” and they’d been together long enough for her to know things were getting serious. “I never wanted my kids to choose to stay home because they worried about me being lonely,” Lillibridge continues. “It’s important that kids don’t feel responsible for their mom’s social life. Plus, going out without kids on occasion gave me more patience with them when we were home together.” If you love him or her, you have to love the children, too.

In fact, being single is the perfect time to nurture other relationships that can last a lifetime. A single mom is literally doing it all, every hour of the day . On a hectic day of wrangling kids, words of admiration can feel like getting a cup of cool water in the middle of a marathon. Mom-shaming—the critical and outright rude comments people make about a mother’s perceived parenting fails—is all too rampant, and people may offer unsolicited thoughts on your new dating life.

Missing The Kids When They Are With Your Spouse:

Juggling this emotional stress with meeting the needs of your children, while also trying to meet your own needs, can be a very tough ask. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. If your new girlfriend has introduced you to their kids, it likely means that they’re serious about your relationship.

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Plus, online dating has made it easier than ever to find and interact with potential dates—all from the comfort of home. So, set aside a night or two a week to dedicate to your social life. These 11 strategies from other single parents will help ensure your dating experience a good one. Each conversation is both an assessment (How do my kids feel about these realities and possibilities?) and a discussion.

“You still deserve to fall in love, to find someone compatible, and to end up with someone you want to end up with,” Prinn says. However, telling the person you’re dating about your child early on doesn’t mean they should meet immediately. Instead, be thoughtful about who enters your child’s life. Meeting multiple people you’re dating may confuse or upset your child, Lozano says.

I love my little girl more than life itself but it is hard some days. And I don’t mind the cancellations due to changing family needs – I just get on with my painting. I would have no issue dating someone who already had children, although my concern would be that they would never consider me as a parental figure. I suppose it is dramatically different if the biological mother is not around and you can literally jump in and provide that role for them. I would have no problem loving that child as my own, much in the same way that I would if I adopted.

And I’m thankful and grateful for the version of me that I have created and is creating. Find a friend or family member you can regularly vent to – someone who can just Cherry Blossoms listen and not necessarily try to save you. Save difficult discussions for a time when you can speak alone. I did have a long relationship with someone, 9 years.

For personal reasons I will not discuss, I did not choose to be childless and would absolutely change the situation if I could. My point, is that there are amazing childless women out there who would make phenomenal partners and stepmothers if only they were given the chance. You could be missing out on an amazing woman who has so much love to give you and your kids. The number one thing many single moms want potential partners to know is that the kids come first. While a romantic partner can play an integral role in a single mom’s life, there shouldn’t be any competition between you and her children. And if you’re dating a single mom and find yourself growing jealous or competitive, examine the root of your feelings, and consider ending the relationship if that jealousy feels toxic.

Loneliness also comes when trying to balance being a single woman with being a mom. You may want to find a new relationship — or even just a date every once in a while — but who has time for that? As a single mom, I was tired of how lonely my journey was becoming and I was tired of having to face everything on my own.