Sexual conflict
In 23 (74%) of the 31 couples we interviewed, both the husband and wife shared stories of sex as conflict ridden. In almost all instances, respondents construct conflict over sex as a problem of frequency of sexual intercourse. Moreover, this conflict is gendered in that husbands are far more likely than wives to report wanting to have more frequent sex (19 husbands compared to 4 wives). Louise (White, age 35, married 13 years) typifies descriptions of such conflict when she says, “We don’t have sex as often as he would like to have it and that is probably the most major issue between us. … Because he will feel sort of sad and lonely and want some affection from me and apparently I’m not there.”
Conflict over sexual frequency is often related to the reasons for one spouse’s erican, age 35, married 9 years) says that their arguments about sex mainly revolve around his wife’s “excuses” for not having sex:
We were talking about it just recently, and I expressed the fact that it always seems as though she doesn’t have time, or she is not in the mood, or whatever. Making up some excuse. Lees verder