Think of it this way – I love going to zoos, museums, and theme parks
I can directly link it to the addition of something in our last contract revision in . It required me to share all my sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies with Mike. I won’t rehash what all that entails (read post 16 if you’d like). Suffice to say it led to Mike reciprocating. Once we could have a completely open and honest discussion about those things we could then talk about what we truly wanted to explore and what we wanted to leave as strictly fantasy. THAT opened the floodgates to what led to John, Donna, and Kayla.
Curious Cat’s Questions Curious Cat asked if, in looking back, I see the seeds of the life I am now living. The short answer is no. While I would never in a million years have envisioned living the life I live now, I do see the characteristics I had (and still have) that allowed me to seek and accept this lifestyle.
I am curious and willing to try new things. Secondly, I am nonjudgmental and tend not to attach stigma or bias or judgement based on a few data points. “Oh, he’s a Republican therefore…” “Oh, look at that immigrant, they are….” “Oh, she likes anal, therefore…” “Oh, he will suck dick therefore…” While I am not perfect in this (we all have biases of various sorts), I tend not to over at this site attach shame or judgement (on others or myself) based on a select few behaviors or characteristics. While I may not be a Republican immigrant who likes to suck dick, I still don’t judge Ted Cruz. Pause. Insert laugh track. Okay, that was a joke. Pause. Wait for it… Of course I judge Ted Cruz, he is an a-hole. But I digress.
I cover that in Post 16, Sexual Thoughts, Dreams, Desires, Fantasies
I also am generally not a jealous person – not to say that jealously isn’t foreign to me. I’ve got prior posts to prove that. But, I do not get jealous when Mike enjoys himself without me. Mike is accepting of that and enjoys them enough to come along sometimes, but I often go with J and without Mike. Even when it means an out of town trip overnight or several nights. Sometimes Mike comes, sometimes he doesn’t. I can enjoy myself in that manner without any stigma or shame.
Mike likes sports. Me? Meh! I can watch a bit here and there, and enjoy going to live sporting events, but I can’t park myself in front of the tv to watch an entire football game. Mike really enjoys it, thus he often goes over to John’s or John comes to our house and they hang out watching the game. I may stick around or I may go run errands. It isn’t my thing. Again, no stigma or shame in that.
Why is sex so different? Because society as a whole says so. There are millions of people who do not conform to various societal “norms.” Just because these people are in the minority doesn’t mean they are defective or should feel shameful. We can list a dozen societal “norms” and likely identify with one or more that we don’t conform to. And these norms are certainly not sacred. Look at the “norms’ of twenty years ago, fifty years ago, a hundred…. they change! They change because as a whole we are more enlightened, more accepting, more understanding. As a human race we are slowly but surely collectively realizing that because you are “x” doesn’t mean you are therefore “y.” Those X’s are more like you and me than they are different, and their X does not diminish their worth as a human.