Your Comprehensive Guide to Essential Online Dating Terminology
Though we’re still meeting in bars and going to see movies together, dating today would be largely unrecognizable to people 10 years ago; changes in how we find our dates, how we treat them and how we describe ourselves to them have radically altered the dating landscape.
To many, modern dating can seem like a minefield of technical jargon; the phrase “My poly pansexual situationship ghosted me so I’m breadcrumbing this snack I had a half-night stand with last year, will you be my emergency call if he wants to Netflix chill?” will be clear as day to some and unintelligible to others.
AROMANTIC
Aromanticism is pretty rare, but it is real: A certain portion of the population does not experience the feelings of romantic love that seem to come naturally for so many of us. While that might seem like either a blessing or a curse, depending on your take on love, perhaps the most significant hurdle for aromantic people is simply feeling left out and misunderstood by a culture for whom dating, love and marriage are not only the norm, but the de facto expectation for all.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t. fall in love.” “You’re not broken – maybe you’re just aromantic!”
ASEXUAL
Being asexual doesn’t specify whom you’re attracted to, unlike other terms on this list. It specifies you don’t experience sexual attraction. But this doesn’t mean you can’t have sex – only that you don’t feel the need in the same way. Dating an ace person? Expect to check in regularly with them re: their desires and boundaries – just as you would when dating anybody else.
“Patrick, are you dating Scott? I thought he was asexual, not gay.” “Scott’s asexual and likes boys! It ain’t mutually exclusive.”
BENCHING
Benching is when you’re not into someone enough to commit to officially dating them, but you don’t want them to move on and eris find someone else either, so you string them along juuuust enough to keep them waiting on the sidelines for you.
Etymology: You know when you’re on a sports team but not actually playing, just waiting on the bench until the coach needs you? Yeah, it’s the dating version of that.
BIG DICK ENERGY
Big dick energy, or BDE, is something only a small amount of people possess. Its the quality of having supreme confidence without needing to be loud or controlling, a quiet understanding of who you are and what you bring to the table that doesnt require backtalk, bragging, or B.S. In short, someone with big dick energy is incredibly hot, and more guys should try to emulate that. The truth is, you can have BDE no matter what your penis size is as long as youre comfortable with who you are.
Etymology: The phrase was coined by Twitter user in a tweet mourning the death of TV personality and chef Anthony Bourdain. It implies that a person (or thing) exudes the confidence that must come with having a large penis – and Bourdain’s kindness, charm and humble swagger were just that.
BISEXUAL
Bisexual persons are attracted to two genders. In the nineties, we’d have said “bisexual persons are into men and women”, but we know a little more about sex and gender than we used to. Swinging both ways, flexible, cross-platform compatible, or rooting for both teams, a bisexual person can enjoy sex with or fall in love with the same gender as themselves, or a different gender from themselves. Bi people might prefer dating one gender and sleeping with another, but we still call ‘em bi.